If you were diagnosed as being HIV+, would you reveal your status? Or would you choose to go into self-imposed exile as a victim of your own shame or fear of rejection?
HIV has hopefully started to move away from the “leprosy” status it attracted thirty years ago, when ignorance blighted people’s reaction to the virus. The media has done a lot to correct these dangerous misconceptions and HIV is slowly starting to take its rightful place.
When we confine anything to secrecy, we give it a power way beyond what it deserves. The moment we talk openly about serious issues, we disempower them. It is that act of sharing which enables us to take back our power and to refuse to continue being hostage to something that doesn’t warrant such destructive attention.
For several months I have been involved in assisting people going through a HIVEX treatment for HIV. As their physical wellbeing begins to recover, so they start to examine the mental and spiritual issues around this illness. Every adversity, including HIV and Aids, is a profound opportunity to grow, to become MORE! HIV comes to mirror our inadequacies and to enable personal growth in ways we could never have envisaged.
Many of those who visit this treatment centre tell me how they have lived in a shut-down exile since discovering their HIV infection. One woman even left family and friends and a significant career to go live abroad as she tried to run away from the reality of her new HIV+ existence. Just in the past week, she has engaged family and friends and revealed her status. The lightness of being that has emanated from this positive disclosure is clearly visible on her face. She now radiates light rather than projecting the darkness of her burdensome secrets.
As people emerge from this unspoken veil, they are most frequently met with overwhelming love and support, rather than facing the torment of rejection that is the root of this tyrannical fear. Rejection always begins with self and this creates the energetic space for others to choose to reject us.
HIV forces us to deal with our fragile ego, to learn that the more authentic we are about everything, the more powerful we become. When we stop projecting rejection and start to love ourselves enough, we find a world that welcomes us with open arms, despite HIV or any other perceived affliction.
Life gives us everything we need to expand us into the fullness of our being. We need to become conscious to the several disguised opportunities to become MORE, rather than being hopelessly grounded by self-pity and the inability to look for the high ground.
Life is about choice and best we make choices that are expansive and valuable not only to ourselves but to everyone around us. When people start to face their reality with candour and with the desire to become MORE, that is the space where considerable myths get debunked where limitation is conquered.
HIV is not a death sentence! HIV is an opportunity to live differently and to engage life significantly. HIV generates the need to make considerable choices and should be the conduit for positive transformation rather than a pitiful degeneration. This attitude soon teaches us that most of our apparent limitations are created by our own thinking anyway.
If you were HIV+, would you continue to be ashamed of your status?
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Monday, 14 February 2011
The Tree - Clive
In early December, Lindiwe Mvubu and I travelled south from Durban to visit a group of women living in a rural community which has been ravaged by the effects of HIV/Aids. Our meeting was under a large indigenous fig tree whose deep shade broke the intense humid heat of KwaZulu Natal.
The tree has been the meeting place of this community for many decades and commanded an unspoken respect from all who visited this sacred open air forum.
We arrived to find a group of about fifty women, some with small children and a scant presence of men who hung back on the periphery. Our mission was to find HIV+ children who could be given a free HIV treatment in the “Ubuntu Child” film project.
We soon met Mabel, a feisty woman who commanded the leadership of this informal group. Her presence is dominated by an unspoken sense of purpose; a tireless desire to help a poor and embattled rural community. With a faith that is the bedrock of her life, Mabel constantly searches for opportunities to improve lives, with a mind that is razor-sharp to the wiles of the unscrupulous.
We explain our mission and thus began a relationship that continues to deepen and grow. Mabel has witnessed the successful treatment of nearly fifty HIV+ people from her following. She has seen young children who were shut down by the debilitation of HIV suddenly find their indomitable child energy. Furthermore, she has seen lesions and other physical manifestations of HIV fade in limited time.
Last weekend, Mabel travelled to Bizana in the Transkei, home of the Xhosa people. Her mission was to spread the good news about HIVEX. This important sojourn was at her own behest, almost a calling to try to change the outrageous destruction wrought by HIV in these rural and largely unseen places.
Mabel is like the spreading shade of the big fig tree. In her own unsophisticated and caring way, she reaches out to bring relief to the hurting masses. Her roots are going deep and reaching places mostly forgotten by the modern world. Her determination carries her beyond limitation and she breaches even what most would consider the impossible. People like Mabel teach us so much. She remains focused despite odds that would make most recoil from the “overwhelm of circumstance”.
The seed or nut that ultimately gives rise to a great tree, often has to endure considerable pressure before it can burst forth into the trajectory of its own growth. The new tree also has to withstand the unabated pressure of the elements, as Life tests the survival of the fittest, yet again.
The support of people like Mabel and Lindiwe Mvubu is what is helping HIVEX to spread its growing branches. From a humble start, the treatment centre has attracted the attention of a growing number of people who urgently seek respite from the impact of HIV.
The tree has been the meeting place of this community for many decades and commanded an unspoken respect from all who visited this sacred open air forum.
We arrived to find a group of about fifty women, some with small children and a scant presence of men who hung back on the periphery. Our mission was to find HIV+ children who could be given a free HIV treatment in the “Ubuntu Child” film project.
We soon met Mabel, a feisty woman who commanded the leadership of this informal group. Her presence is dominated by an unspoken sense of purpose; a tireless desire to help a poor and embattled rural community. With a faith that is the bedrock of her life, Mabel constantly searches for opportunities to improve lives, with a mind that is razor-sharp to the wiles of the unscrupulous.
 |
| Clive (on left) and Mabel in discussions by the Tree |
Last weekend, Mabel travelled to Bizana in the Transkei, home of the Xhosa people. Her mission was to spread the good news about HIVEX. This important sojourn was at her own behest, almost a calling to try to change the outrageous destruction wrought by HIV in these rural and largely unseen places.
 |
| Clive and Mabel with her group meeting by the Tree |
Mabel is like the spreading shade of the big fig tree. In her own unsophisticated and caring way, she reaches out to bring relief to the hurting masses. Her roots are going deep and reaching places mostly forgotten by the modern world. Her determination carries her beyond limitation and she breaches even what most would consider the impossible. People like Mabel teach us so much. She remains focused despite odds that would make most recoil from the “overwhelm of circumstance”.
The seed or nut that ultimately gives rise to a great tree, often has to endure considerable pressure before it can burst forth into the trajectory of its own growth. The new tree also has to withstand the unabated pressure of the elements, as Life tests the survival of the fittest, yet again.
The support of people like Mabel and Lindiwe Mvubu is what is helping HIVEX to spread its growing branches. From a humble start, the treatment centre has attracted the attention of a growing number of people who urgently seek respite from the impact of HIV.
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